The Secret About Changing the Dream

Weekly Word #7 ~ June, 2007

The day after writing my previous Weekly Word about The Secret and Dreaming, I was waiting for a friend at Kaiser Hospital. I watched a couple across from me, as the man grew more agitated with each person that was called into the office. Finally he spoke up and said, “Hey, we were here before them!” A nurse kindly told him that there were many doctors there, and his wife’s doctor would see her in a moment. He garrumphed, and said something angry under his breath.

A few moments later, the nurse called the woman into the office, and as her husband approached with her the nurse apologized and told him there was no place for him to wait inside right then, and asked him to sit back down in the waiting room. He became even more agitated, and spun away with the word “bitch!” resonating from his angry expletive.

He began pacing up and down the hall, angrily denouncing the nurse, the doctors, and the hospital to one and all. On one of his trips into view, the nurse opened the door and invited him to come in and be with his wife. He passed through that door as though she was standing there ready to drive a knife into his back as he passed. His body showed the tightness and tension of his war with the world.

From where I was dreaming, the nurse was pleasant and thoughtful, and concerned about the man’s desire to be with his wife in the doctor’s office. From where he was dreaming, the whole system seemed to be working against him and making him very angry.

Many who teach about “The Secret” would have us believe that all this man would have to do is change his thinking and his whole life would change. And, you know, I agree completely. However, I wonder how he would have reacted if I had suggested that to him while he was pacing the hall ranting about The World.

For me, this is a great example of how dreaming creates your world. This man and I were living in totally different universes. And I know that he is so fully immersed in his unique universe and its battles, that it would be very difficult for him to simply change his thinking to move to a more peaceful and comfortable universe.

Yes, it is very simple, but it is not always easy. We have all lived in our special universes for so long that we get very attached to them. Those universes attract into them all the evidence we need to support the beliefs and agreements that maintain them.

So here is my secret about changing your dream: You can change your life by changing how you dream it. It is that simple, and it often not easy. First, you need awareness that you are dreaming (see my book chapter “The Perfect Dream” in the Joydancer Notebook here). Then you need tools for exposing and changing the ways you think. Changing your thinking will change your emotions. Changing your emotions will change your reactions, as well as change the very cells of your body. Changing your thinking, emotions, reactions, and cells will change your universe.

This is the work of Spiritual Warriors. Not all are called to it. If you are one of the ones that are (and since you have read this far I assume you are), I hope you will join me for an event, Journey of the Spirit, TeleClass, or Joydancer online program soon. It is why Joydancer exists.

There is no hurry, but we haven’t a moment to waste.

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Allan Hardman is an author and expert on personal and spiritual transformation, relationships, emotional healing-- and a Toltec Master in the lineage of don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements.™ Allan teaches in Sonoma County, CA, and from “The House of the Eagles,” his winter home in Chacala, Nayarít, Mexico. He guides Journeys of the Spirit to sacred sites in Mexico, and hosts wellness vacations in Chacala. He is the author of The Everything Toltec Wisdom Book, and co-author of two books with Deepak Chopra, Caroline Myss, Dr. Andrew Weil, Prince Charles, and others. Visit Allan’s extensive website at, and TACO, his online spiritual membership community.