The Hidden Power of The Four
The Weekly Word ~
It has been ten years since Miguel Ruiz, author and Toltec
Nagual, released his famous book, The Four Agreements™
- A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. Oprah
has raved about it, movie stars quote it, and it is read
in 32 languages around the world-- and yet many people
miss some of the profound depths of this teaching.
Miguel Ruiz begins The Four Agreements by describing
how each of us has been "domesticated" by our
parents, relatives, siblings, teachers, church leaders,
and others. We were expected to agree with their beliefs
and agreements about good and bad, and right and wrong
- and we did. We had no choice. It was "their way
or the highway."
We agreed never to take the last cookie, to always put
other people's feelings ahead of ours, to follow the rules,
and not talk back. We agreed to stay inside the lines,
not be too happy, and always be nice. Following their
rules helped us fit in and get our needs met.
Following their rules also had a price: We were required
to abandon our truth and the freedom to express ourselves
freely. We stopped looking inside for our direction, and
learned to look outside to know what "they"
wanted us to think and feel. This was a big price to pay
for safety and belonging. We had no choice.
The Four Agreements have the power to break thousands
of the limiting agreements that you made during your domestication,
and set you free to be yourself. They are a wonderful
gift. Unfortunately, many people misunderstand the deeper
meaning of the agreements, or deny their power by imagining
they are like some other philosophy or teaching. Let's
take a brief look at each agreement here, and make sure
you are using them as the powerful tools they are.
Agreement #1: Always be impeccable with your
word. Miguel Ruiz clearly explains that to be
impeccable means to be "without sin," and he
defines sin as "going against yourself." Therefore,
to be impeccable with your word is to not use your word
against yourself. Many people seem to miss this definition,
and believe the agreement means they should always tell
the truth, keep their commitments, and not cheat.
How do we use your word against yourself? The most common
way is to judge yourself. Can you imagine living without
ever judging yourself for anything you say, feel, want,
or do? Imagine your freedom to take action, to create,
and to love with your heart wide open. Keeping this one
agreement is all you need to go all the way to personal
The other three agreements are given to us as support
for the first.
Agreement #2: Don't take anything personally.
The danger here is using this agreement as an attitude,
rather than a ticket to freedom. The Toltec wisdom teaches
that we are all distorting reality based on our unique
beliefs and agreements. If someone is dreaming you they
are not seeing the real you, so anything they say to you
is a description of their dream of you, and truly has
nothing to do with you. The universe is not personal,
and actually doesn’t care about you. Be yourself.
#3: Don’t make assumptions. What
a powerful invitation! Stay in the moment. Don't second-guess
life. Don't assume you know what someone needs or is thinking.
If you want to know, ask. This agreement will break all
those lies that it is bad to ask questions because you
might embarrass or hurt someone, and you should know what
other people are thinking and meet their needs before
they have to ask. Many people think this is a minor agreement,
but don't be fooled. Big power resides here. Stay in the
juice of Life in this moment-- after all, that is the
only place Life is happening!
#4: Always do your best. This agreement
is often misunderstood to mean you should try harder,
do more, and be better. Nothing could be farther from
the intention of the agreement. Every choice you make
is based on your programming, your previous experiences,
and the information available-- and every choice is the
best you can make in the moment. If you find out ten minutes
or ten years later that you have other options, use them,
act, change, and grow.
This agreement will break your belief in all the lies
your inner and outer judges tell you about your failures,
what you should have known or done better, and the grim
prospects for your future. Without the voice of your inner
judge you are free to be you. What a beautiful thing to
Yours IN love and The New Dream of Peace Within and Without.