Answering the Soul's Desire for Connection

The Weekly Word #17 ~ Christman, 2007

Have you ever thought about your need for relationship and connection with others of your species? From the beginning of human time, we have lived in families, tribes, communities, villages, and other close forms of relationships with each other. Humans are herd animals-- historically we have never lived alone, in fact, until quite recently, we could not have survived alone.

The villages and communities have evolved over time, and now have slowly broken down from large extended family relationships to what seemed to be the basic form, the family of man/ woman/ child. Now we find even that form breaking down, with a majority of families coming apart, and children being raised in single-parent households. Many people live alone without any significant personal relationships at all.

None of this evolution has changed the need of humans to relate and be in community. If you see the violence in the daily news, you are seeing the results of individuals getting lost in the dream, without anyone close to them to say, "Hey, come back, you are too close to the edge."

Here in this village of Chacala, Mexico where I am living now and writing this, it is very unusual for anyone to live alone (except us gringos). This is a country of family and community. Once a week the parents and kids are out raking and cleaning the school grounds together, burning piles of leaves, laughing, and telling the stories that bond them as community.

The weather here is always warm, so people are out and about, seeing and visiting with the same neighbors and relatives that they see every day, and have known all their lives. They know if someone is having trouble, and they accept and love them-- they are held at the bosom of community.

I think that holidays like Christmas, and the special celebration times of all religions and cultures, are important because they are times for us to return to our connection with families and communities. We make pilgrimages to family homes, gather with relatives and friends, and celebrate in community.

It is unfortunate that people who have isolated themselves from those connections suffer even more at these times, because it reminds them of their soul's yearning for connection, and their inability to connect or the absence of close connections.
My wish for you this season of life is that you are connected to community, people, love, and Life, in whatever way and form is appropriate for you.

Celebrate Life. Celebrate Love and connection. Be present, really present, with yourself and others.

Many of us have created and celebrate with spiritual communities, as a replacement for the broken connections of family and place. If you are longing for a deeper connection with like-minded souls, I invite you to explore TACO,'s online community, where we are "Creating Spiritual Community Through Love in Action."

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Allan Hardman is an author and expert on personal and spiritual transformation, relationships, emotional healing-- and a Toltec Master in the lineage of don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements.™ Allan teaches in Sonoma County, CA, and from “The House of the Eagles,” his winter home in Chacala, Nayarít, Mexico. He guides Journeys of the Spirit to sacred sites in Mexico, and hosts wellness vacations in Chacala. He is the author of The Everything Toltec Wisdom Book, and co-author of two books with Deepak Chopra, Caroline Myss, Dr. Andrew Weil, Prince Charles, and others. Visit Allan’s extensive website at, and TACO, his online spiritual membership community.